


Best Unkept Secret

by CorruptedAster



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Civilian (?) Oikawa, Fluff and Humor, Google Docs Title: YOU'RE FUCKING WHAT, Hero Iwaizumi, M/M, sometimes you just have to write superhero shenanigans instead of superhero angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 18:20:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18238544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CorruptedAster/pseuds/CorruptedAster
Summary: Iwaizumi has a lot on his plate. He's a doctor at Miyagi General Hospital. Working in the Hero ward taking care of innocent bystanders and young heroes trying to run off before they're completely healed is difficult as it is. And on top of that he's one of Miyagi's highest ranking heroes. As the Phoenix, Iwaizumi had been helping his home town for close to 30 years and in that time he and other's like him have gone from vigilantes to government recognized heroes. Balancing both jobs is difficult, but with the help of all the new heroes popping up it hasn't been as bad. But still, sitting and watching the news with his husband, Iwaizumi can't help but wonder if it's time for him to hang up his metaphorical cape.





	Best Unkept Secret

“Breaking news!” Iwaizumi stopped dead in his tracks hearing a newscaster’s alarmed voice from the other room. _When would Oikawa learn to not put on the news on date nights?_ Straining his ears Iwaizumi tried to catch the rest of the broadcast.

 _Maybe it’s not anything actually important. Maybe a kitten’s stuck in a tree again._ Iwaizumi wondered.

“Captain Darkness has broken into Miyagi First Bank and police has confirmed 3 hostages remain in the building...” _Fuck._ The reporter continued to list the details of the rapidly evolving case, but Iwaizumi did his best to drown it out. _Did Oikawa turn up the volume?_ Tensely he shoved the second of two TV dinners into the microwave.

 _Tonight is date night._ He reminded himself. Iwaizumi had promised his husband years ago that he would put his other ‘job’ to the side on date nights. The agreement had been made after one to many fights about them never seeing each other. It hadn’t been a one sided debate. Oikawa had been just as busy then, having made it onto Japan’s national volleyball team. Date night was for them, no work calls and no galavanting around the city in spandex fighting supervillains.

“Hajime!” Oikawa called from the living room, “That new hero team’s on TV!”

Relief flooded over Iwaizumi, of course another hero had seen the news. It wasn’t like his college days when there were only a few heros scattered about Japan. Now that the government had initiated an official hero program, there were plenty of heroes capable of dealing with the recent influx of villains.

Another call from Oikawa grounded Iwaizumi back in reality, “Hajime, hurry up. They work fast.” Smiling softly at his husbands enthusiasm, Iwaizumi grabbed both meals and made his way to the living room.

As expected, Oikawa was on the couch wrapped in a multitude of blankets staring at the TV. Putting Oikawa’s dinner down on the coffee table, Iwaizumi settled down next to him and began to eat his own.

Iwaizumi watched in amusement as Oikawa struggled to get out of his self made blanket prison and to his food. Once he’d succeeded Oikawa reached for the plastic, quickly pulling his hand back and letting out a quiet but meaningful, “Fuck,” after touching it for a brief moment.

“Be careful,” Iwaizumi remarked unhelpfully, “It’s hot.” Oikawa gave him a deadpan look and Iwaizumi was unable to keep the smug smirk off his face.

Oikawa’s eyes fell to Iwaizumi’s own hands and noticed the lack of protective gear on them. He frowned and mumbled, “You really need to start using oven mitts or a towel. You’re going to lose all feeling in your fingers if you keep picking up hot plates.” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, it was as if his husband sometimes forgot one of this superpowers was heat resistance. Unhappy with Iwaizumi’s dismissal Oikawa continued, “I’m serious Mr. Doctor, you need to take better care of yourself.”

Iwaizumi put his dinner down and kissed Oikawa’s forehead, “I’m fine Tooru.” Picking his dinner back up he nodded at the TV, “So, how have they been doing?” referring to the two newest additions to Miyagi’s hero roster.

Oikawa turned back to the TV and his frown deepened, “Shrimpy’s still not completely confident when running on the Prince’s Ice, almost like he’s afraid that it’ll disappear. And Prince still has issues with watching out for collateral, thankfully Mr. Refreshing is there to get people out of the way.” Nodding, Iwaizumi made a mental note to tell Hinata and Kageyama what Oikawa said. Oikawa had always had a knack for being able to point out both hero’s and villain’s flaws. The skill had helped with the training of new recruits as well as taking down some of nastiest villains Iwaizumi’s had to face. “They’re doing well though, this is only their fourth mission together and their growth as partners is actually kind of scary,” Oikawa admitted and turned to Iwaizumi with a nostalgic smile, “They’re starting to remind me of us when we started playing volleyball.”

This actually took Iwaizumi somewhat by surprise and he decided to pay a little more attention to what was going on. After watching for a few minutes, Iwaizumi had to agree with Oikawa’s assessment. Compared to the first time the two fledgling heroes had been in the public eye, they had improved greatly. With Sugawara assigned as their mentor and the tools to actually learn about their powers they looked like professionals to the untrained eye. It’s far more than Iwaizumi ever had in his starting years.

Memories of his first few times on the streets as the Phoenix came to mind. It had taken him weeks to learn how to throw a proper punch, and even longer on how to actually use his powers effectively. Quick bursts of flame and regeneration were what he had at his disposal. Compared to the bullet proof skin and super strength of the only other hero in Miyagi at the time, there had been days where Iwaizumi wasn’t sure if he should even be doing what he was.

Of course, those doubts never stopped him from doing what he felt was right. Iwaizumi wanted to make the world a better place. He wanted to help people. It’s why he became a hero and it’s why he became a doctor. Even if on the days when he worked a shift at the hospital and patrolled the streets after he felt like he’d collapse from exhaustion.

Those memories and thoughts about future heroes continued to plague Iwaizumi’s mind as the broadcast ended. The Heroic Duo captured the villain and even stuck around for a quick interview. Iwaizumi was still lost in thought halfway into whatever alien movie Oikawa had put on after that.

The new generation was growing faster than any of their predecessors. Even Iwaizumi’s own sidekick, Kyoutani, had grown up and moved on to doing solo missions. Under the new program, all rookies receive guidance and experience before even trying to go out on their own. It really was turning into a golden age of heroes.

“Something on your mind?” Oikawa’s voice brought him back to the reality. Iwaizumi came back to himself and wondered briefly when Oikawa had stretched himself out on the couch and put his head in his lap.

Thinking for another moment, Iwaizumi tried to think of a way to explain his train of thought. “I’m thinking about retiring,” the words came out before he even realized it. But in truth, it sounded right. The next generation of heroes was here. It was time to pass on the mantle. He could still help out with training from time to time, and he’d keep working at the hospital's hero ward.

Oikawa’s eyebrows scrunched and he sat up. Seriously he asked, “I thought you liked your job at the hospital?”

Shaking his head Iwaizumi turned down the TV so they could actually talk, “No I meant as the Phoenix.”

There's a moment of silence. And Iwaizumi sees a wide range of emotions crossover Oikawa’s face. Confusion, fear, worry, joy, and finally: absolute unbridled rage.

“YOU’RE WHAT?” Iwaizumi reached for his ears. Oikawa’s volume and screeching tone threatened to burst Iwaizumi’s eardrums.

Oikawa’s eyes burned through Iwaizumi and his mouth dried up. Unsure of what the hell was happening and fearing what would happen if he broke eye contact, Iwaizumi swallowed and answered somewhat confused, “The… The Phoenix?”

Another beat of silence. “Iwaizumi Hajime,” Oikawa started, tone deathly low, “I swear to whatever god is out there, if you are making a joke right now I am going to murder you and let Mina eat your body.” As tone deaf as ever, hearing her name their siamese cat Mina jumped on the couch and rubbed her head on Oikawa’s leg purring. Doing his best to keep his stern face on, but also not one to deny their cat affection Oikawa began to scratch behind her ears, never breaking eye contact with Iwaizumi.

The weird image actually helped Iwaizumi to collect himself. Brain finally processing what they were talking about, Iwaizumi snapped back, “Wait a fucking second? You didn’t know?”

Oikawa stumbled for a minute, opening and closing his mouth for a bit. Finally he squeaked, “You’ve never said anything!”

“You should have known!” Iwaizumi fired back.

“And how the hell was I supposed to know?” Oikawa questioned.

It’s Iwaizumi’s turn to stumble now. He searched his memory for the night he told Oikawa the truth, but he couldn’t seem to find it. “Well… I never officially told you but…. Like…” Iwaizumi stuttered and saw that satisfied look Oikawa got when he’s right begin to form, “I walk around the house wearing half my supersuit all the time!”

Oikawa faltered, but fired back, “I thought you were just a huge fan of the Phoenix. I buy you his merch all the time cause I thought you liked it!”

“Wait that’s why you buy it? I thought-” cutting himself off Iwaizumi refocused, “What about all those times in college I climbed into our dorm through the window?”

“I thought you were trying out parkour,” Oikawa said matter of factly.

Iwaizumi fell back on the couch and wiped his face with his hands. Realizations just coming one after another. “Oh my god, I’ve told you so much top secret information. I’ve broken protocol so many times,” pulling himself back up he asked, “How did you think I knew so much sensitive information about heroes and villains?”

“You work in the Hero Department at the hospital! I figured heroes told you stuff while they got checked out?” Oikawa’s rage seemed to have subsided and replaced with a confused shame. A light pink dusted his cheeks and in any other situation Iwaizumi would’ve teased him but they had other things to deal with. It was then that Oikawa seemed to have a realization of his own, “Is that why you always came home beat up in college?”

Iwaizumi thinks back all the nights he’d come back with a stab wound or two, “Well yeah? Where else would I have gotten them? If you noticed why did you never ask about it?”

“You never looked like you wanted to talk about it,”Oikawa shrugged, “It was before we got together… so you know… I didn’t want upset you... And! They were always gone the next day! I figured I was either seeing things or you were in like... a play.”

“A play?” Iwaizumi rubbed his eyes, “Are you serious? You know I have healing abilities right?”

“Well I do now!” Oikawa’s voice changed pitch again as he tried to defend himself, “What was I supposed to think? That my best friend since kindergarten started running around in tight spandex showing his nice ass off to super villains? I was just trying to respect your boundaries! Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“I thought you knew! I felt like it was obvious,” Iwaizumi gestured at the bottom half of a super suit hanging over another chair.

“Obviously not considering I’m hearing about this 26 years into our marriage,” Oikawa crosses his arms, and not long after his eyes went wide, “Holy fuck I’m married to a superhero.”

Against his better judgement Iwaizumi tried something else, “The Prankster figured out my secret identity. What about all those times you’ve almost gotten kidnapped by him?”

Offended Oikawa leaned into Iwaizumi’s space, “What? Am I not hot enough to get kidnapped?”

Iwaizumi sighed, deciding to pick his battles. Giving in, but not at all convincingly he admitted, “Yeah your right. You’re definitely hot enough to just randomly get kidnapped while at practice.”

“Of course I’m right,” Oikawa seemed satisfied with Iwaizumi response despite his insincerity. He reached for his phone and started to text someone. “I have to tell Yahaba about this, he’s never going to believe me. Wait. Can I even tell him? What’s like the protocol on this?” Oikawa asked seriously.

“I mean usually you wouldn’t be able to tell anyone, but Yahaba already knows,” Iwaizumi told him and immediately realized his mistake.

“Yahaba...knows… he knew…. Yahaba knew, before-”

Cutting Oikawa off before _that_ could get him in any more trouble Iwaizumi quickly explained, “Well after he and Kyoutani got together, Kyoutani told him... he was Mad Dog.”

Again Iwaizumi sees a myriad of emotions pass over Oikawa’s face. Taking Mina from Oikawa’s lap and holding her for emotional support, Iwaizumi prepared for a loooooooooong night of explanation.

* * *

 

“Makki you will not believe what I just found out,” Oikawa whispered into his phone's receiver. He and Iwaizumi had gone to bed after what was a roller coaster ride of a 3 hour long conversation. Of course, Oikawa hadn’t been able to sleep. Instead he waited for Iwaizumi to nod off and snuck out of their bed, placing Mina under Iwaizumi’s arm where he had been to not disturb him.

“Fuck what time is it?... Oikawa, do you realize is 2 am?” Hanamaki sounded less than happy about the late night (early morning?) call.

Oikawa glanced toward the bedroom door before whisper-yelling, “Iwa’s the Phoenix.”

There's a moment of silence before Oikawa heard some crackling and Hanamaki trying to barely suppressing his laughter, “Issei! Issei wake up. Oikawa’s finally figured it out!”

Oikawa, obviously, wasn’t very happy with his friends amusement, “Wait a fucking second, you knew?” On the other end Oikawa could hear Matsukawa waking up in the background wondering what the hell was going on.

“Give me a second I’m putting you on speaker,” Hanamaki said, “Yeah of course I knew? It was so damn obvious.”

“Why did you think we asked to kidnap you all those times?” Matsukawa chimed in from the background.

“You guys told me you wanted someone hot so that media would actually pay attention!” Oikawa shrieked. A bump resounded from the other room and Oikawa spun around hoping that he hadn’t accidentally woken up Iwaizumi. Thankfully rather than a slightly upset boyfriend, a small cat head poked out from the door. Breathing a sigh of relief, Oikawa quietly called out for Mina.

Over the phone Oikawa could hear another round of laughter and quiet muttering. Finally, Hanamaki decided to address Oikawa again, “You actually believed us?”

“Well… yeah?” Oikawa mumbled as he began to absentmindedly pet Mina, “So wait. You guys only used me to get to my boyfriend?”

“It wasn’t the _only_ reason,” Matsukawa cut in, “You were also convenient. Better than some random stranger. We’re just trying to mess with people, not kill them. Plus you knew the villain biz, therefore you knew how to act like a convincing hostage.”

Having decided she had enough pets Mina, vacated the spot on Oikawa’s lap. Now free Oikawa splayed himself on the couch looking at the ceiling.

“Speaking of villain biz,” Hanamaki popped back in, “Are you gonna tell Iwaizumi about you?” A small creek sounded from somewhere behind him, Oikawa assumed that Mina had returned to their room to continue cuddling with Iwaizumi.

Letting out a low chuckle, Oikawa responded, “And tell my superhero husband what? That in college I ran a league of villains under the guise of Grand King? That I gave it all up after getting the shit kicked out of me by said husband? That the sight of his bare arms exposed after a long grueling fight made me so horny that I was afraid if I kept running into him that I would cheat on my boyfriend?”

Before either Matsukawa or Hanamaki could respond Oikawa heard a loud slam from the bedroom door. Startled Oikawa fell off the couch.

“YOU’RE FUCKING WHAT?”


End file.
